The Rants of Helen McWrath

I hate rainy days almost as much as I hate Christmas music. Whatever happened to singing about the days of the evil Harold and how Santa Claus killed him in revenge for his firstborn son being slaughtered? There is no such song. Just crap about a snowman marrying a couple of singing hooligans probably two minutes from birthing an otherwise illegimate baby.

I want a song about Jack the Ripper to brighten my Christmas.