Hello, bright minds of America and the World! My name is Gladys McWrath, but you guys can call me Granny. I am a seventy four year old lady of skinny proportions, flower-esque hair, and three personalities. I'm the nice one, and, out of the three, my advice would probably be the best.
This, by the way, is not to offend my other personality, Wilma Jeanne. Her advice would also be alright. Never take Helen's advice, however, because she is a bad influence. She's my third personality. I dare not say anything mean about her, lest I wake up with knots on my forehead.
So, people, is life troubling you? Husband leaving, unexplained, in the middle of the morning? Fear not, people. He might be going to a bar, or an x-rated theatre; you never know. The best thing to do would be to talk to him about it and be extra sweet. You two might have something else in common, and truly, you could use a date out to a pub or a nudie movie.
In the worst case scenario, if he is cheating, you have license to guilt-trip him for three years, the other woman (or man, whatever) for the rest of her or his life, and get a divorce, if you want one.
Just imagine life with this person and life without them. Which life seems better? Really think it over and pick the one that seems preferable. If only I had done this when my second husband, Radolfo, cheated on me.
My other personality Helen caught him, and I've never seen him or the other man, since.
